My husband is cheating on me

30 Subtle Signs Your Husband Is Cheating

If the affair is really, truly over, taking the physical steps to cut off contact with the person and set up boundaries is crucial to your partner's healing process. Brandon Santan , a licensed marriage and relationship therapist practicing in Tennessee. Because Grant's husband worked with the woman he cheated with, this was more complicated.

Being cheated on is damaging for a plethora of reasons, but one big factor that needs to be addressed in order to move past it is lack of honesty. This level of transparency needs to continue for as long as it takes to build that trust back up again; something that Elle says was key to her healing process. He told me where he was going and who he'd be with.

My Husband Cheated On Me & I'm Struggling To Cope With The Aftermath

Seems humiliating in the short term, but he understood that that was how he was going to rebuild trust," she says. Your gut reaction might be to blast your partner's indiscretions across social media for all to see, which Travis McNulty , LMHC, practicing in Florida says is a common coping mechanism. But telling everyone in your inner circle can end up backfiring. Grant found support by creating a blog, The Betrayed Wives Club , to connect with others who were also victims of infidelity — a support system she says played a large part in her healing process.


Our culture lacks real understanding around how devastating infidelity is. It can be really painful to share your secret only to have someone respond, as a friend of mine did, 'Well, I wouldn't put up with it. After an affair, it can be hard to know what to do or even where to start.

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If the conversations you're having with your partner feel like they're not getting anywhere, consider working with a licensed therapist who can help guide the process. I tell couples they are going to have to bury that first relationship and think about starting a brand new relationship with each other.

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Grant and her husband eventually sought couples counseling after they had each worked with separate therapists. We have a lot of fun together, he's a much more hands-on father. I literally fear the night. Instead, my brain races with thoughts about my soon-to-be ex and his new girlfriend.

Eating is a struggle. I love to eat. My desire for sex is just gone.

I made the mistake of bringing home a guy the other night. I thought I was ready, but it was a bad idea. Instead, I cried halfway through, freaked him out, and asked him to leave.

Then I showered — twice — and felt like I was the one who had cheated. As a highly sexual woman , this lack of interest in sex is totally new territory. Everything is really confusing. I know at one point I loved my husband to bits. I could have eaten him up with a spoon. But now, being on the other side of that feeling, I feel conflicted and numb, but also angry and sad.

My thoughts of revenge run deep. Like Verizon Media, our partners may also show you ads that they think match your interests. Learn more about how Verizon Media collects and uses data and how our partners collect and use data. Select 'OK' to allow Verizon Media and our partners to use your data, or 'Manage options' to review our partners and your choices.

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